Divide and Conquer.

So late, but I feel so productive and alive. Will get offline soon
and sit to soak in all that I'm learning.
If you want to know something, just "google" it.
Or better yet, go sit in a big library.
We have NO MORE excuses.
Right now I'm peaking at gas mileage understanding.
Hence: http://www.wikihow.com/Increase-Fuel-Mileage-on-a-Car

I just want you to know I think of you everyday.
I just want you to know that your life is wide open and your opportunities limitless.
I just want you to feel as I do when the rain comes to wash away drought and sadness.
I'm just standing right next to you.
When our energies intertwine we lift each other off the ground.
You help me to see peripheral, above and below.
I miss you all day long, but I feel just as strong with or without you.
There's something about sharing ourselves the way we do.
But right now I know what I can give to you.
And you to me.
It just wasn't meant to be.

Feeling larger than ever, and every moment I see in technicolor.
With a glimmer of hope in space I shape my life.
Lifting up my head from the snug warmth of my bedroom I see bright lights.
This path stretched out before me.
Just dying for me to reach out.
How do you walk away from your dreams?
Are you insane? Are you repressed?
No way. I just need time to think--rationally.
Sometimes I get ahead of me. Seeing what some never see.
The blind I could never be. But frankly, that's just what God
has given me. An open road, someone's hand, undying devotion.
Cause I have learned that all I give is all I get.
So now I'm giving life all I have.
And to Jah the glory.
This feeling couldn't be more genuine, unless I packed my bags
and left at this very moment.
Live and don't forget to be grateful for what you're given.
Stop wasting time thinking of the mistakes you'll make.

I can't seem to stop writing poetically.
You don't need to read my life.
It's not so personal, but it is intimate.
My speciality.
Time for refelction.

Get up off that hiney and go make lemonade.
My M.O.

Instant as the -cheap- rice you can nuke in the microwave.

Blogger is beginning to act strange. Hope that will end soon. This has kind of been my small venting box for some time now thanks to S.M.M. Not quite ready to let go yet. Just when life is really revealing itself to me. Naked. And blogger just is having fits.

As the picture strays in and out of focus, this energy shifts elsewhere.
You are no longer on the list of things to do.
And it hurts.

Today I can see all of my strengths and flaws.
Before me lie options and realities.
Today I can't pretend or hide beneath the covers.
But I don't want to.
Change so magnetic I miss staying the same today.
The grass seems greener.
Some relish in deceit; the lie crumples over like
a withered piece of paper. Practically ash.
I need more sustenance than that girl.
She doesn't need more than attention, monetary goods,
a little whiskey, and good time.
Inadequacy, intolerable. I am moving to another level of cognition.
Insurmountable growth spurt. Maybe I subconsciously admit, and consciously ignore my need for constant growth and change. Transformation.

Artists need stimulation. We are all creators of our
own reality. We are all destined to move forward.
What restrains and binds us is only our mental aptitude for
revolutionizing ourselves.

I digress.

(Eye) see so much. Remember when we only
wanted to make our parents happy? When it was good
enough to eat a lollipop or go swimming on a hot day?
Remember when I still lived in a dimension where the
possibilities didn't seem so vast or irrevocable?

Not right now. Not these days.

Forget about xo's and hop scotch.
Right now, understanding is my validation. Discretion.
Discernment. Humility. Quiet meditation. [Open your (I)s,
before you go blind.]

"Believe none of what you hear, and half of what you see."

So Long. I'll be seeing you.

I'm not posting. Just letting go of something and someone at the same time. John Mayer is a pop icon, however, I always find comfort in something about his music.
About to do some homework. Wash some clothes. Think about cardomom pecan banana bread. It's okay to not always know.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://www.cardamomcreations.com/cardamom.htm
What Is Cardamom?
Cardamom is often referred to as the Queen of Spices. It’s the third most expensive spice in the world and also one of the oldest. As early as the 4th century BC, Cardamom was used in India as a medicinal herb to strengthen the heart and lungs, relieve pain, gas and sharpen the mind.

A relative to the ginger family, it is highly aromatic with a complex flavor profile that is hard to put into words - it defies the boundaries of normal sensory comparisons. It is compellingly strong, yet delicate; sweet, yet powerful; with an almost eucalyptus freshness.


Cardamom Pods

Open a jar of cardamom and the smell is unmistakable, unstoppable – sweet, exotic and dreamy. It is one of the most evocative and intoxicating smelling spices reminiscence of a wonderfully perfumed floral bouquet all wrapped up inside a single pod with a smell and taste quite unlike any other.

The Greeks and Romans imported it as a digestive aid. It has been said that Cleopatra found the scent of Cardamom so enticing that she would burn the crushed pods, instead of incense, before the arrival of Marc Anthony!

Cardamom's ability to enhance so many types of food is why it is combined with a wide range of other ingredients.

In Sweden, it has become a more popular spice than cinnamon. It is used in Danish pastries, Saudi Arabian coffee, North African cooking, Indian Chai tea and cooking, plus in spice blends such as Garam Masala, Curry powder, and Berbere.

It is native to the East originating in the forests of the Ghars in Southern India where it grows wildly. Today it also grows in Sri Lanka, Guatemala and Tanzania.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
11:15 Late night Edits.
Did all my online coursework for the next ten days. Yes.
Going to wash clothes. Find some dinner. Sing John Mayer. Scribble.
Pray hard. Iron a white button up. Think of him. Think of myself. Think of everything that has nothing to do with my emotions. Read. Dream. Let go a little more. Be patient with myself. Be patient. Be humble. Be cool.<3 It's all love. All sacrifice. All the time.



-L.K.

//Distinction//

The ability to foresee the risk versus the gain is what makes my mind clear. Through prayer and humility, all answers reveal themselves. Quietly, indefinitely. In time.

At our birth, we are expelled from our mother's womb. Harvested. Bloomed. Ready to pluck.
Tabula rosa. Undefined. We have no names. No sin. No thoughts. Only sensation. This sensation is extremely high. Our brains are fresh, cells, rapidly reproducing. Heart, fragile. We have no fears or hang ups about what people think of us. We don't even know what people are. We are alien to all of humanity, and its volatile nature.

Life and experience mold us. We are palpable beings. Young spirits. Easily lead. Or misled.
By default, we know nothing but what we are taught to know. Thinking philosophically for a half second--Plato's Cave . If you have never seen it, undoubtedly it will be more difficult for you to grasp. As anything unheard of.

I am, two years old.
The blinding layer of protective skin that shielded my eyes from pain is removed.
Peripheral vision restored. The only problem is, I don't know quite how to use it.

Sensory information is how many of us attach ourselves to reality. If we cannot feel it,
or better yet, our brains cannot feel it, it is as good as invisible. I'm not talking What The Bleep Do We Know here. I'm talking in context of simple internal perspective. We exist through our feelings. But our feelings are so interchangeable. How do we build solidarity within ourselves?

Two years old means very little in this world.
I can feed myself, I can push forward, but I'm still trying to put all the puzzle
pieces together. I know the conventional way is not the best way, but as I figure
out what way is the best way, I stumble from time to time. Just learning to hold on
to my things. Just learning what it means to be am an adult. Just learning how to
protect myself mentally, physically, and metaphysically. No matter how far I run
from my reality, the closer on me it sticks. Like the smell of freshly chopped garlic
underneath your skin. I am still learning and growing. In spurts I see myself jumping.
What was once dire is not anymore. I have Jah first and foremost. Not boys. Not
friendships. Friendship is a funny place. A place in which extreme love must exist.
But all of my friends know my spiritual journey persists. I am not leaving Jehovah's side.
I know too many people that are so lost, they try to find their own way, not seeing that end of the tunnel, it's all the same. I know my tone here is somewhat morbid, maybe bleak and too
descriptive, however each one of us is entitled to our story. Our perspective. I expect no
one to tell me otherwise. I expect to continue on this quest. I expect to persist with my spiritual growth.

I can remember all the years I lived for you.
Knowing nothing better to be true, I could have cared less.
That twinkle in my eyes, she told me God's light was shining inside me.
His child.
These days, I'm not so angsty, so childish, so self serving.
These years flutter by, cloud after cloud. Day after day. Blink after blink.
My voice is getting louder. My walk prouder. My reason, stronger.
I remember when he held me through the night.
And I felt safe there.
I can't say the same these days.
I can't stay the same at all.
And all we know about each other is fading.
A dying wind, meant to stir up somewhere else. (In someone else's life.)
For the first time.
I can admit to myself and the rest of the world,
all I hear is the sound of my heart beating.
With each pulsation I recognize myself a little bit more steadily.
All I have is what I was blessed with.
Nothing is above or beneath any of us.
Those that struggle less, are often more fortunate.
Clean water. Trees. Grass Sunshine.
See. Smell. Taste. Touch. Listen.
Balance. Family. Friends.
A creation, as pencil touching paper.
We are not accidents. We are not here by chance.
But our lives are limited, and how we exist in
them even more so. It is the moment we acknowledge this,
that we begin to wake up. We are really free to do anything.
There is always a way. It may not be easy, or obvious,
or even practical, but it does exist.
In this tiny universe in which we comprehend,
one day we will admit we know nothing, and that we don't age
merely by year, but by principle.

Time management

There comes a moment in life where when your back is pushed up against the wall you either shirk in terror, or you face that enemy or entity head on. Yeah...I'll admit I'm an overachiever sometimes. It's in my nature. I make plans on top of plans. Meet tons of people, help them, and still want to go home and ride my bike, make an amazing dinner, talk on the phone, and do homework chaque jour. What the eff? Is that even realistic? This morning I was tete a tete, mano e mano, with myself. You never want to go to war with yourself. You'll always lose. I wake up automatically at 5:30 AM. My friend invited me to jog. My body must be so excited to do something I actually like that it wakes me up earlier than I would even move. 5 stinkin' 30. Roll around. My bedroom is in a state of disarray. Level 4 on the Hurricane Wind scale. My body and mind are bot telling me that this time I have truly outdone myself. Good. Guess this means I'm forced to fall off that metaphorical high horse. We think we can take on the world, but really we can't. We can only do what we can do. This morning when I got up to go, each time I looked in the mirror at my reflection I convulsed somewhere inside knowing better than to keep pushing like this. It's bound to catch up with me. I have a 9 AM Environmental Management class. Sounds nice right? Except that by that time I'm burned out. The only environment I want to manage is my own. So I dropped his class. I did it. I had to. Absolutely bleeping positively had to. I don't like school enough to allow it to dominate me so much that I cannot find time for myself within its midst. The intoxicating stench of avarice rears its hideous head in between my nostrils. I gag with disgust. The best thing to do at this point is to rebalance and orient myself. As that happens, I can finally cope and attain real goals. Ambition was not meant for the weak.

Remember When...

The exterior of you is hardened, but your core softer than the innards of a ripe peach freshly plucked in the spring. I'm trying so very much not to get too close, but as we both know, gravitation is all too easy when energies are magnetic. I close my eyes. Letting the feeling wash over me, I pray for a new day to make things right with you.
The sun rises, and I know my chance is now. Unbinding my arms and legs, I walk a free woman. Slipping in and out of your consciousness. I invade your thoughts, and you are in mine. But for the first time I know better than to fall docilely into this entrapment of the notorious sweet nothings and late nights cuddling cozy.
My mind is not racing. But my life is. Literally. Flashing. Like the canon camera you hold on occasion, making me as permanent as the film strips and ink mirroring my subdued expression the moment you took it. I am into no one this way.
----

My entries cannot begin to encompass all of my experiences, but one thing is apparent. I am a lover always. I have 3 homework assignments to do, jogging in the morning, a 9 am class after that. a test. a field trip. a math class in the afternoon. books to read. Life to find. There is not a dull moment. Savor each day.

I love my bike like nothing I've ever loved. It gives me hope of this new day. It reminds me that I am growing, moving, disappearing, and reappearing elsewhere. It is a symbol of my new found identity. Some think I'm rasta. I think I'm awakening to my very porous being. I am fluid like the wind. You cannot repress me, but I can die down and reappear elsewhere. I must be climaxing, because I just feel myself rising--floating--right out into the stratosphere.