My Chameleon: "The more things change... the more they stay the same."

My Dear Friend,
My entries are getting more private now. It's funny, because you may view them regularly. I have things to say, and I will begin saying them now. You hardly respond. Life does not stop because of this. My life is not dedicated to one thing, for I am multi-faceted. The woman of many cloaks and faces, and actions. I allow holy spirit to guide me through all things. Sometimes, I have something specific I want to share with you like now, but this comes out first. My blog is not really for everyone or even most anyone. I'm glad if you choose to continue. And I don't mind. I am not afraid your responses. Life is different for me now. The winds have changed. I'm okay with being more serious, more intimate,and more spiritual. I hope you are ready.

With all my blessings,
L.K.

Avant Premier Penser...

These scriptures are about the confusion many people including many of my friends experience. Please read. I hope you learn much from it, because I will not force you to, but of your own accord in your own time. If you do read, please ask me questions about this, but these words will explain a lot, in short.
Excerpt from Romans, Chapter 1 Verses 18-28
"18 For God’s wrath is being revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who are suppressing the truth in an unrighteous way, 19 because what may be known about God is manifest among them, for God made it manifest to them. 20 For his invisible [qualities] are clearly seen from the world’s creation onward, because they are perceived by the things made, even his eternal power and Godship, so that they are inexcusable; 21 because, although they knew God, they did not glorify him as God nor did they thank him, but they became empty-headed in their reasonings and their unintelligent heart became darkened. 22 Although asserting they were wise, they became foolish 23 and turned the glory of the incorruptible God into something like the image of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed creatures and creeping things.

24 Therefore God, in keeping with the desires of their hearts, gave them up to uncleanness, that their bodies might be dishonored among them, 25 even those who exchanged the truth of God for the lie and venerated and rendered sacred service to the creation rather than the One who created, who is blessed forever. Amen. 26 That is why God gave them up to disgraceful sexual appetites, for both their females changed the natural use of themselves into one contrary to nature; 27 and likewise even the males left the natural use of the female and became violently inflamed in their lust toward one another, males with males, working what is obscene and receiving in themselves the full recompense, which was due for their error.

28 And just as they did not approve of holding God in accurate knowledge, God gave them up to a disapproved mental state, to do the things not fitting, 29 filled as they were with all unrighteousness, wickedness, covetousness, badness, being full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malicious disposition, being whisperers, 30 backbiters, haters of God, insolent, haughty, self-assuming, inventors of injurious things, disobedient to parents, 31 without understanding, false to agreements, having no natural affection, merciless. 32 Although these know full well the righteous decree of God, that those practicing such things are deserving of death, they not only keep on doing them but also consent with those practicing them."


Premier (Je Croire)

Alora Dear Jah,

How could anyone want to die? You have given us so much to unearth, so much to protect, so much to love. Life is truly your greatest gift. My soul a blessing. When we hurt our souls, and fill it with meaningless things we are doing a great disservice to you. But I am going to push to continue learning, and encouraging others to understand the joys of life. I hope I am making the right decision. Please guide me Jehovah. I have so much energy. So many words. So much to think about. Sometimes I feel like I want to go in many directions, but I know the kingdom must come first.
Please forgive me of my wrongs, and help me to make things right again.
I love you more than this utter fascination. I love you more than I sometimes behave.

In Jesus' Name, I pray, Selah.

Deuxieme (Je Reve)
I want to go to a Native American reservation. There is so much fascinating history right here, right now. We should never limit ourselves. We should rise above constantly, striving not after the wind, but listening to what our souls really have to say. It speaks to me and says, you need to see this. It would be a great dream actualized to travel to the Pueblo tribes on the west coast, but I will start small and work forwards. Jehovah's willing I can and will go many places. My heart feels it. I am not afraid, only in constant shock of the ability of man and the infinite amount of things we will forever have to learn about.

When a man moves away from nature his heart becomes hard. - Lakota

Tell me and I'll forget. Show me, and I may not remember. Involve me, and I'll understand. - Tribe Unknown

We always return to our first loves. - Tribe Unknown

Artsyl's Inspiration Day

Tealight candles burn. My fingers pulse. The itch has been released.I have been imagining myself painting, slowly preparing everything in my mind for tonight. I let loose. My canvas is whatever I find that is free and paintable. Really.

In other news,
I missed my convention today.
Woke at 5:25 AM only to come back home at 6:30.
I felt like I'd lied to myself and everyone. I cried for five minutes.
Prayer has a way of helping you let things go. Especially when you make an
unintentional mistake.
The day went on. Life doesn't stop, just because we feel like our heart has.
Our heart couldn't have stopped...because if it did we would probably at the very least be unconscious. I am grateful for the peace I experienced today nonetheless. I painted a lot. All over my bedroom window. I vacuumed and broke a old cabinet in my room apart. How spacious my boudoir is. (Next step, strip the carpet. It is coming.) I helped a friend. I made a new friend. I calmed down. Tomorrow, I cannot make the same mistake as today. I have a bus to catch. A new adventure to find. I wish I felt I could share this in full with you, but you wouldn't appreciate it.
Life alters now. People change. Places change. Perception changes. I'm growing to like this new layer of skin. Smooth. Comforted. Informed. Relaxed. Are you ready?

This life, is beautiful.{La Vita e Bella}

Dear Sensitive Soul,
Keep on striving.
I know what goes on in your mind and
I can't fault you for sometimes losing your hold
on the things you once thought you knew.
As everything jumbles up again like a zillion piece jigsaw
I know all you can do is take your time. The more you know,
the more you are required to give. Keep learning and gaining strength,
your body can handle it.
And when you feel like no one is on your side,
remember who is, and bless them. Remember the good times,
don't focus on the struggle of the present.
This too shall pass. Resonating answers to all of your
questions---
No need to be so cold, no need to give up on all you have fought for.
Keep fighting. Keep watch. Keep loving. Because these things are
what will make you peacable in the end.
[I love you no matter what you do, where I go, and when we see each other again.]
Sincerly,
Lystra

She's stretching her arms farther, she's feeling the pressures of adulthood. Cumbersome, but never anxious. She thinks of how much has changed in the past two years. Grade school was...just the beginning. A babe in the universe, mentally, spiritually, she has much to learn. She is cloaked and girded up with truth and holy spirit. She can't understand how the material realm can reign so supremely, or how so many can't even see her now. A transformation takes place and now she feels everything. The pain. The questions. The eyes staring at the back of her head waiting for her to fall. But she graciously trods over the earth, resting as needed, in the fields. This earth was not meant for filth, for destruction, but these days the price to play skyrockets. STDs plus babies. Catalysis Warfare. Pestilence. Starvation. People without natural affection. Pay attention. Soaring high above most's realm of consciousness, she takes her hand and blows a kiss into the wind, thinking of all of her past, and all the trials. Life will not ever turn back around, she can never go back. This way is the way her heart is going. Life everlasting. Loving. Thinking. Pursuing peace.

Fermentation through rant.

Tonight my heart hurt. I love her in ways I didn't think I knew how to. I've turned off the cosmic romance button. In my heart silence reigns supreme. With each thump, the knot constricts and releases. I will suppress my feelings until whenever I know I can back them up with nurturing to help them grow freely. I wanted to just listen to your voice all night long. I love a man's smooth voice, and when they are actually doing what they should be, it sounds that much better.
When I left you, I knew I was doing the right thing, no matter how many times I want to look back, I can only move forward. Forgive me for being a quick mover. I can't stand still, not even for loved ones. I know when I am being urged to go. Sometimes I miss you beside me. Your smell. I type it all time, knowing you will never respond. There is nothing I could have done differently with you.
Inhale. Fall into deep thought. Exhale. Release the pain I've held for so long. Forgive me, I have been self righteous. The more humility, the calmer I am. I have no regrets. I only have questions about this new solitary position. Most of us can't bear to be without someone, even if they are totally wrong for us, we would rather be miserable with them then just wait it out. I just pray all the time. I just move. I just don't wait for you to regain strength. You can't catch me. Weakness is in my flesh (tangibility). Strength is in my spirit (faith).

Twenty Years= XX (in Roman Numerals).

I am twenty years old; in my own mind I don't have five months to go. A state of being, a karmic revelation. A profundity unearthed due to the force at which this water rushes towards me. I am on a river, flowing downstream. On the cycle, the waterfall is crashing just moments away. I can only pretend to be a child if I were going backwards. No backwards now. No pretending. No sugarcoated veil. No boys to latch onto. No allowances. No hopscotch in the park during recess.
Anything I do is my own choosing. Jah's gift of free will. As I skip down the road past memory lane I realize the clean slate I have before me. Time to prove your worth. The challenges will come now. Rolling in like waves from the highest tide. I must stay above water. Dive in and face whatever. Kingdom work. College. Relationship choices, this includes friendship. Forgiveness. Savings and Wealth. Visualizations. Love. Communication. It is in your hands.
Those of us who fail to seek guidance from a higher source, I pray for you. We cannot do this on our own. The success you will see me have will not come from my strength alone. No, I rely on my spiritual protections. My divine relationship with The Almighty. When life is good and bad. I pray for you. You are just so hard headed. I think of you often when I have a quiet moment. The blessings you could receive, if only you knew how to be humble! :) I pray for you.

When all else is quiet...

sleeping soundly, dreaming of the ways to reach out. she's battling to build her stance. she sees chaos in the future for man as they run after each other into the abyss of emptiness. they find no peace there. no revelations. no joys, but paralysis. she tries to throw them a life vest as the masses hurl and gnaw and destroy one other, seeking fresh air, a way out---but they won't turn around. it's not too late she whispers. if you're still breathing you can't let fear and false joys control your life. she has no idea how many of them will hear. she closes her eyes in prayer acknowledging each of their sufferings and shortcomings. she wishes they were more humble, less prideful, less headstrong. teardrops fall from the heavens. soon they turn to fire and hail. destruction is sure to come, and the question is will she reach anyone? does anyone hear? she begins to withdraw as she feels she her words fall on deaf ears. in the blink of an eye, in the millisecond of an hour , in the quiet of the night the abyss will swallow its victims. she will not chase after them for she will not know. they would continue running blindly into the wrong direction. seeking truth. seeing nothing but their lives at stake, why must so many be mislead?