Wasted Time

So many hours spent rushing around doing monotonous things...

Love is not always an action word.

I sit in wait.
Maybe I never really knew you.
When you thought you were getting to know me.
Maybe all the hours spent in your red convertible
gliding along 95 were meaningless.

Although I know this not true; but this is how I feel.
My heart does not hurt.
I do not lie in want any longer.

I wake to a brighter morning,
I find more peace in sunlight than I ever used to be able to.
I pray for us both.

Though I miss knowing you, and what you are doing, or why you are doing it,
I know that it is simply my love for you that will never die.

And what I remember most are the cozy nights at bedtime, and that how
we would stare at each other into those long summer nights.

And that is why I can rest peacefully.
I hope you are safe, wherever you are.

Consumption in a (Nut)Shell.

Since the beginning of Anthropology class my professor has been experimenting on us. I know it.
Slowly but surely peeling the layers of our cozy over-consuming, greedy, self serving, spoiled ignorant minds to reach the inner layers of skin--like the part if exposed to the air will immediately start to burn at the thought of...consumption.


Yes, I now know we are all slaves to consumption. As we sit in our five star restaurants, as we stand in the checkout lines of retail and department stores, as we pump our gas, as we think about the next item we want, as we grab the plastic water bottle, as we pull on our new shirt...we are all slaves to something.

It is with great pleasure that I announce my apathetic attitude towards purchasing new clothes. I like clothes, really, I do. But mass production and the whole hoopdy doo surrounding every store I imagine stepping a foot into somewhat repulses me like garlic to a vampire. I look like you. I speak the same language as you. I blend in. But I feel like an animal inside, itching to walk around in my skin. Yes, my skin. Not A&E, not Victoria's Secret, not anything but mine. And if I do buy from someone, I'd rather it not be a sweat shop, or overly attention grabbing. Hemp shirts and recycled rubber soled shoes make my heart swoon. Or is it the sound of local veggies sizzling in my cast iron skillet?

All the while I realize without my love of Jah all of these things would quickly cease to be acknowledged. You are but a means to an end clothes, you keep me warm, you are somewhat of a reflection of self, and yet I had no part in making you. And that my dear friends makes me sad.

------Yet another Into The Wild like film: 127 Hours
http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/fox_searchlight/127hours/

PUMPKIN PIE PANCAKES.

* 2 cups all-purpose flour
* 2 ½ teaspoons baking powder
* 1 ½ teaspoon baking soda
* 2 teaspoons sugar
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 1 teaspoon cinnamon and a little more for garnish*
* ½ teaspoon nutmeg and a little more for garnish*
* 1 ½ cups buttermilk
* 1 cup nonfat milk
* 2 large eggs
* 4 tablespoons canola oil
* 1 15 ounce can pumpkin pie filling
* or
* 2 cups fresh roasted pumpkin puree**
* a little butter or nonstick cooking spray, for preparing the griddle

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Mark Bittman's Autumn Millet Bake Recipe

I screwed up a bit and used dried cranberries. If you are referencing the photo, you'll notice the shrivel factor. Still good. You can make this vegan, vegetarian, I used a bit of cream* - but you can use just stock or water. The real trick is getting the millet to cook all the way though, so don't over toast it, and keep adding liquids if you need to.

1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil, plus oil for the dish
3/4 cup millet
1 medium butternut or other winter squash or 1 small pumpkin, peeled seeded and cut into 1-inch cubes
1 cup fresh cranberries
Salt and freshly ground pepper
1 tablespoon minced sage leaves or 1 teaspoon dried
2 tablespoons maple syrup or honey
1 cup vegetable stock or water, warmed*
1/4 cup pumpkin seeds or coarsely chopped hazelnuts

You can run, but you can't hide: The proverbial umbilical cord called LIFE

You can run. You can cry. You can kick. You can scream. You can put yourself in an insane asylum and lock yourself up and throw away the key. Hey, go ahead, eat the key. But what will any of these things ever do for your soul? Maybe momentarily release you from your inner demons, but will this cure you of your ills?
Probably NOT. Probably no no no, I'm sorry, definitely not, unless you enjoy being sedated and withdrawn. Most of us last time I checked really, really want to live.

It's funny how this week has come and gone, just like all of the rest. Each of us must find our true worth in this world or we will shrivel into shells of our former aspirations and fantasies. Use your talents or lose your talents. That is the rule of life. If you take it for granted, as it begins to deteriorate we will recognize just how good we had it.
Take the example a man with seeds and an empty field. If the man plants all his seeds and cares for them he could out with some really tasty awesome fruits, veggies, and trees. Or, this man could only plant some and produce half of what he would if he planted it all. Or, this man could produce, nothing. He who puts forth nothing, gets nothing in return. The more effort you plant, the more likely you are to harvest great results.

I don't ever want to lose my talents, do you?

Don't forget that little kid that used to say what s/he wanted to be when s/he grew up.
You're grown, almost. You're getting too big to call yourself a dependent on someone's taxes. It's time to face Uncle Sam, your parents, and the financial deficiencies of inadequate income. Pay check to pay check, loan by loan, scholarship by scholarship, dollar by hour, and so forth.

It is increasingly difficult in a society of many evils--diversions--sublevels of reality. We can find ourselves in predicaments we never quite dreamed of wishing we thought more and acted less. Pure state of nature action (action with minimal thought)= lust, greed, sloth, jealously/covetousness, rage, etc. Or we can know these things can come from becoming a bitter fullgrown brat.

I don't even have all the time in the world to explain these concepts.

But fruit for thought yeah?
If we pretend we are alright with where we are, we are lying to ourselves. If our happiness is fully dependent on those things I listed above, we can never truly attain happiness.

True joy lies in the ability to create, to protect, to love,to give of yourself to (an)other, freely, without guilt or regret. It is freeing of one's soul. How do you free the soul?

Well, that is a process, and another essay entirely.

If only or society was not birthed out of corruption, it would be so much easier...*heavy sigh*