Ready for a change

I did like my English class after all. I loved being encouraged to develop my writing abilities, and to articulate my thoughts. I remember in Mr. Miazga's 9th grade English class him discussing dynamic characters as being changed to great degree from their initial vantage point. I remember that character being the most interesting in the book. The static character was so far from me, so I decided when it was time to change I would indeed change.
And now, as I sit here, my whole body itches because as a snake, I am again indeed shedding an old layer of self. I am ready to let go of so much sometimes I can feel myself mentally purging. I wonder if others feel the need to let go and move on like I do.
This world is a funny place, one where corruption is common. So as I purge my old thoughts and desires, I see the futility of expending energy in certain avenues I once deemed "inspirational." How do I do that? I remember the last time I shed my old self, I dropped men--hard. I dropped music hard. I dropped materialism, and narcissism (somewhat). And now I am dropping the common view of the course of American living. I am a commoner I suppose. Simplicity is taking shape and form. It was once an ooblong, obtrusive form and is slowly molding into a softer, rounded shape. It is solidifying like the molding of clay. I am as a ceramic piece, waiting to be formed. Is it possible to grow up and drop the dead skin of youth and the falsehoods of men? Is it possible for the newer me to shine and thrive in the corrupted system? Only time will tell. :) And all I can do is continue to shed this old me.

The next time you see me you might not notice immediately, but I know you will see if you stay long enough...

Until my next tirade!
-L.K.

Fruit for Thought, Musically Inspired

So I fell out of the rap scene. On occasion I do take a peak, and today I heard something in Drake that made it all the more clear just how destroyed he is, and the music industry is. Think about it. He came into the rap industry within a year became the hottest on the market. In the midst of getting caught up with the new money, the new attention, he forgot about what mattered. And I'm sure when he finally got a chance to look around (or as they say: the smoke clears) like so many other music artists he saw reality. Cold, hard dollar bills, prostitution, rhymes on paper, and a binding contract that says I _________ choose to sell my soul for X # of zeros.
Think about what you are fighting for. Think about why you need to be accumulate things--to accumulate wealth. Wealth in this system equates to selling one's soul. I just hope you pay attention. I'm not saying a job isn't bad, but any job with close to a six figure income equates work becoming your life. As Drake says in this song, "It's funny how money can change everything." I think it's funny how many people strive for extensive material goods, and next thing you know, you are in debt or weighed down by your possessions. I would have posted his actual song, but he said some things that I just don't want on my blog. Ever.

Essentially, his song just encouraged me to remember to live simply, without the spotlight, and without the "grandeur". I am choosing my destiny right now. I am making choices that will impact me for many of my adult years. It pays to remember how to make my time matter. Praying often helps. Listening to my trained conscious helps.Jah lets me know what to put first, and it makes my heart glad. As long as I listen, the rest will follow.

Drake-Excerpt from "Fear"
"...
And I'ma keep it honest.
I'm so tired of being subtle.
It's just me, Forty, O, and Nek standing in a huddle.
Staring at the members of my team.
Who get questioned about they profit from this million dollar scheme.
Just know that am in debt for you defending all our dreams.
I hope you tell your families this sh** ain't what it seems.
But y'all the reason for a lot of my devotion.
You know I spend money because spending time is hopeless.
And know I pop bottles 'cuz I bottle my emotions.
At least I put it all in the open.
...
Welcome to my realest year.
Yeah.
I swear that we making a killing here.
I should be on top of the world here just chillin' here.
Uh.
But it's funny having fans.
Who find you before anybody ever has the chance, and build you up so You could be the biggest in the game.
And realize when you're there,
Sometimes the sh** don't feel the same.
Yeah.
And plus things are just surreal at home
People think I've changed just because my appeal has grown
And now security follow me everywhere so I never actually am alone, I just always feel alone.
I think I'm scared of what the future holds.
I was wishing for some things and now am used to those.
Every girl I meet thinks I'm ****ing groupie hoes.
The honesty of my music has left me too exposed.
All my old friends think I got a new crowd.
And people seem to notice every time I do smile.
I guess that mean they come few and far between.
Even though am living out what you would call the dream.
Yeah.
And my uncle ain't even messaging me.
And him missing in my life is kind of messing with me.
I hope this isn't one of those forever things.
It's funny how money can change everything.

(Chorus)
Don't believe the lies.
Look me in my eyes.
Please don't be scared of me.
Please don't be scared of me.
I remember you.
This feeling isn't new.
So please don't be scared of me.
Please don't be scared of me."

Ornithology is definitely one of my callings.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
P.S./Note to self: Read more about fire retardants on this website:

http://www.ewg.org/healthyhometips/fireretardants

Toxic Fingers

The Effects of Nail Polish Ingredients

Autumn Jones has been working as a freelance writer for the past four years. Her writing has appeared on eHow.com and travels.com. She wrote her first piece of fiction at the age of seven, majored in creative writing at Vassar college, and continues to pursue her passion for the written word as much as possible.
By Autumn Jones,eHow Contributor
The Effects of Nail Polish Ingredients

There's nothing like a pair of well-manicured hands. Glowing, smooth fingernails, chip-free color and nicely trimmed cuticles can signify class, glamor and maybe a little bit of wealth. Unfortunately, nail polish causes more than admiring glances. Regular commercial polish is full of dangerous chemicals that pose serious health threats to humans.

1.Toluene
Toluene is used as a solvent in nail polish, meaning that it dissolves other chemicals to create a solution. It's a dangerous chemical that causes birth defects in animals, affects the central nervous system and is fatal if swallowed.

2.Formaldehyde
Formaldehyde is another solvent with a hefty health risk attached: It's a known carcinogen, which means that it causes cancer, no question. The fumes of formaldehyde are irritating to mucus membranes in the eyes, nose and throat.

3.Ethyl Acetate
Ethyl acetate evaporates from the nail, which causes the polish to dry and harden. This means that you're breathing in the fumes from the chemical as your manicure sets. This solvent can pass through the skin, and prolonged exposure to the fumes can lead to lung, heart, kidney, and liver damage.

4.Butyl Acetate
Butyl acetate is also a solvent used in nail polishes; it's toxic, and causes irritation to eyes, skin and lungs.

5.Dibutyl Phthalate
Phthalates are easily absorbed chemicals that keep nail polish chip-free. The European Union has banned them, but they're legal in the United States. They're linked to early puberty in girls, low sperm count in men, sexual deformities and problems with fetal development.

6.Phthalic Anhydride
Dibutyl phthalate is often replaced with phthalic anhydride, which isn't much better. This chemical is also a major health concern. It may be toxic to human immune and respiratory systems, and can cause cancer, organ damage, and membrane irritation.

7. (Personal Addition)--It stinks, acetone is horrible on nails and has it's own host of side effects.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why am I sharing this? Because I just had a debate with someone over Volatile Organic Compounds, which prompted me to research my reasoning for nail polish. There are alternatives. They are a bit pricier. That seems to be the way it is with so much these days....
*Deep sigh* I love my nails anyway.

The guy retorted saying essentially, "You are going to die one way or another. You may as well just live. These environmental regulations are being put in place to control the people."

My mental response, "The quality of the life you lead will determine your experiences and interactions with life. If you ask for little, you will receive little. If you ask for much, much will be given, but much will be required of you. So either step up and make sure you are well taken care of, or step down and someone will still control your life--indirectly, but they will. And by step up I mean actively pursue good things (e.g. healthy foods and activities) or be bombarded with everything and wind up a product of what you observe and interact with. It is a complex ideology that seems to be old fashioned, but with everything I have observed, sometimes old fashioned shouldn't be considered old at all.


Anyway, I have work to do. Word of advice: Never eat stale organic tortilla chips. Even if they taste fine. If they smell stale, throw them out!!!!!

Read more: The Effects of Nail Polish Ingredients | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/about_5398440_effects-nail-polish-ingredients.html#ixzz1IgzOYcVX

Dreaming with Purpose, Washed Away from Shore

Sometimes I forget that blogger even exists, and then I think of my favorite melody, or my most treasured writings. I think of how on occasion my heart is poured on electronic paper. And in my own way I feel like I've found a part of myself that I'd left in hiding.

Today I feel renewed, invigorated with a new gift in presence. I am no longer a girl anymore. I feel the brink of womanhood, and spiritual awakening. I feel peace in my time of quiet. I have responsibilities as a lady, that I stand up and handle. I do not shy away from the task at hand. I no longer cling to the things or people of my childhood, or adolescence. As one who seeks to venture down a path of great meaning, I know my service. I foresee many adventures ahead, some more treacherous than others. I foresee confidence, beauty, grace, discipline, understanding, voice, strength, and unity. I feel these things in my bones, into my core. Virtue, faith, brotherhood, self-discipline are sure to follow. And love of course, is greater than all of these. That is what love is made of.

I find it interesting to watch as the tides change in the course of life. The ebb and flow of the waters drifting in and then further out to sea. I don't miss high tide, but I know someday it will return. But for now, it's good to be able to step along the shore, and sometimes get a little carried away. I feel full. I feel at peace. I feel patience.

But there is nothing particular to share. I am sitting in side hallway, more in a corridor on a tweed loveseat, thinking about the days ahead, and Jah makes them all the sweeter.