My blogger account won't open elsewhere. So when I move from this desktop, no more inner workings, at least not here.
Every step I take I leave you further behind. I scramble around, attempting to regain my balance.
You are no longer by my side. I cry from time to time. And I know that's all right.
Everything changes for me. My life is about progression. And spiritual is on the top of my list.
All things and entities superficial always EVENTUALLY become mere memories.
Why am I not interested in anything they say and do?
I feel like it's punishment, but it feels so good to know where I stand.
Unfortunately, that often leaves me on my own.
Are we too defiant for our own good?
No. Jah knows me better than I know myself.
Realistically, with growth and change somethings may drastically become different.
C'est la vie.
Don't think I'll ever forget you.
Because I won't. I love you more than I can show you.
I'm a distant lover. Watchful eyes. Invisible kisses
adorn your cheek and forehead. You deserve to be with
people more approving than I. I am not cynical, only
seeking another path. Some days I dream of you, while
lying in the grass. I know you must go your own way.
Let's just not pretend. I'm not a pretender. Justification
is the base of all my actions. Purpose in every step.
Originality is what I seek. When will we reach the
pinnacle of our missions in this life?
When we stop being afraid to be what we know we are,
and go the way we know is within us.
Fear is only skin deep to me.
Callused. Hardened. Defined. Beaten. Molded.
Solidifying clay. Dirt. Minerals form this being.
As I close my eyes, I watch you all disappear,
One by one.
13.4.10
7.4.10
Cathole Method. Leave No Trace. Jungle child.
http://www.lnt.org/programs/principles_3.php
Thought of the day. :]
5.4.10
Seek altruism.
Just ran finally. It's pretty amusing to see Baltimoreans in their cars baffled to see a pretty brown girl in work out clothes at 7, running into dusk. When I run I feel alive. My legs could go on for miles. If I just stay focused the options are endless.
I've been thinking about where I'm headed, and I realize it's like driving at night in pitch black with only your high beams to lead the way. Follow the road signs and your intuition you'll get there.
I have to make lists to get things accomplished.
I have to pray. I have to work and eat yummy things. I have to travel.
I have to jump at the chance to make things better.
I have to have fun.
But only if I'm focused do any of these things feel worth
the time. :) I have to not take things so personal.
We all have our own agenda.
Sometimes a small part of me misses being close to someone.
But 80 percent of the time I am in absolute bliss. No one in
my grill. And most of the time that closeness pales in comparison
to the kind I aspire to have. Who knows.
I've been around the block and back again.
The grass only appears greener. It is actually
only miracle grow. Where I stand organically is just fine with me.
Random when I was searching for a picture found this:
How YOU Can Become a Runner
Mentally
1. Decide that you want to try jogging. Don’t over think it. You can always go back to walking tomorrow if you don’t like it.
2. Focus on the reasons why you want to become a runner or jogger. Some good reasons: improve your cholesterol, improve your body shape, lose weight, feel better, gain more energy for daily life, etc. Whatever your motivations are, write them down and post them where you will see them every day. This will be very helpful on the days that you don’t feel like running.
3. Fail-Proof it. Create a time in your schedule when you’ll be sure to have the ability to do this. For me it means mornings. If I wait until later in the day, then my energy is lower not to mention all the other activities competing for my attention.
http://zenhabits.net/2007/05/beginners-guide-to-running/
http://www.runnersworld.com/
http://www.holistic.com/holistic/Learning.nsf/b00588db461b551d87256906005eb56f/8abc7ce8b4262ea4872569f300680f3d!OpenDocument
The internet really does have everything! :D <3
I've been thinking about where I'm headed, and I realize it's like driving at night in pitch black with only your high beams to lead the way. Follow the road signs and your intuition you'll get there.
I have to make lists to get things accomplished.
I have to pray. I have to work and eat yummy things. I have to travel.
I have to jump at the chance to make things better.
I have to have fun.
But only if I'm focused do any of these things feel worth
the time. :) I have to not take things so personal.
We all have our own agenda.
Sometimes a small part of me misses being close to someone.
But 80 percent of the time I am in absolute bliss. No one in
my grill. And most of the time that closeness pales in comparison
to the kind I aspire to have. Who knows.
I've been around the block and back again.
The grass only appears greener. It is actually
only miracle grow. Where I stand organically is just fine with me.
Random when I was searching for a picture found this:
How YOU Can Become a Runner
Mentally
1. Decide that you want to try jogging. Don’t over think it. You can always go back to walking tomorrow if you don’t like it.
2. Focus on the reasons why you want to become a runner or jogger. Some good reasons: improve your cholesterol, improve your body shape, lose weight, feel better, gain more energy for daily life, etc. Whatever your motivations are, write them down and post them where you will see them every day. This will be very helpful on the days that you don’t feel like running.
3. Fail-Proof it. Create a time in your schedule when you’ll be sure to have the ability to do this. For me it means mornings. If I wait until later in the day, then my energy is lower not to mention all the other activities competing for my attention.
http://zenhabits.net/2007/05/beginners-guide-to-running/
http://www.runnersworld.com/
http://www.holistic.com/holistic/Learning.nsf/b00588db461b551d87256906005eb56f/8abc7ce8b4262ea4872569f300680f3d!OpenDocument
The internet really does have everything! :D <3
3.4.10
Rant, rave, ramble -- decode.
I'm a storyteller and beneath these riddles there
are always messages and stories. Into the universe they flutter.
Aging proceeds wisdom.
I am exiting the golden age. Into the primodial ooze
I hop. My esoteric tendencies begin to show along with
the fire behind my eyes.
You can't define me. Does that make you tick?
I hold myself together with needle and thread.
Please be honest with me.
I'll figure you out anyway.
And the more my feelings change, the farther you drift.
Floating in an ocean of ideas, memories, I plant my seed in your mind.
It grows with each passing moment.
You are beginning to sweat.
Trickle. Trickle. Plop.
Out pours your vulnerability.
We are erroneous individuals, longing for perfection.
Idolizing the faces beyond the glass screen.
Steroid. Male enhancements. Protein shakes.
Infommericials. Miracle Grow. Silicone tits.
Prepackaged goods are never as good as the homemade
I made for you in the lazy daze of the afternoon.
The way your footsteps graze over the earth beneath
you tell me all about your life.
A journey--a seeker--a jack of all trades.
A master of?
Indeed it's easier to intellectualize a situation
rather than apply knowledge and experience life.
Give in, you know you need to.
Break your logic and redefine what logic you
possess.
The more I write the more I understand
my imperfections. Somethings were never meant to be
said. Only felt, in this realm of perception.
Forget your school lesson.
Pray. Eat. Feel. Think. Reflect. Actualize. Act.
Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
Prayer.
It's something that can only be pulled from a genuine heart.
When He and I commune there is nothing that compares.
I lower my head with humility. I imagine.
I feel peace within and around my core.
True bliss. But many of us feel empty.
We are all searching. We are all lost until we
know our insides. The best way to reach self actualization
is to know that you are not your own creator.
You cannot govern your world. You can only take
small steps to change it. I am. We don't know
our limitations these days and we think we can play God.
Well, so far that hasn't worked.
It's so easy to feign ignorance when you know
the truth persecutes everything we have been taught to
accept. Please open your mind. Everything we know
is founded on deceit. Falsehood. Stop feeding your physical
like it is your spirit. They are and never will be the same.
31.3.10
Divide and Conquer.
So late, but I feel so productive and alive. Will get offline soon
and sit to soak in all that I'm learning.
If you want to know something, just "google" it.
Or better yet, go sit in a big library.
We have NO MORE excuses.
Right now I'm peaking at gas mileage understanding.
Hence: http://www.wikihow.com/Increase-Fuel-Mileage-on-a-Car
I just want you to know I think of you everyday.
I just want you to know that your life is wide open and your opportunities limitless.
I just want you to feel as I do when the rain comes to wash away drought and sadness.
I'm just standing right next to you.
When our energies intertwine we lift each other off the ground.
You help me to see peripheral, above and below.
I miss you all day long, but I feel just as strong with or without you.
There's something about sharing ourselves the way we do.
But right now I know what I can give to you.
And you to me.
It just wasn't meant to be.
Feeling larger than ever, and every moment I see in technicolor.
With a glimmer of hope in space I shape my life.
Lifting up my head from the snug warmth of my bedroom I see bright lights.
This path stretched out before me.
Just dying for me to reach out.
How do you walk away from your dreams?
Are you insane? Are you repressed?
No way. I just need time to think--rationally.
Sometimes I get ahead of me. Seeing what some never see.
The blind I could never be. But frankly, that's just what God
has given me. An open road, someone's hand, undying devotion.
Cause I have learned that all I give is all I get.
So now I'm giving life all I have.
And to Jah the glory.
This feeling couldn't be more genuine, unless I packed my bags
and left at this very moment.
Live and don't forget to be grateful for what you're given.
Stop wasting time thinking of the mistakes you'll make.
I can't seem to stop writing poetically.
You don't need to read my life.
It's not so personal, but it is intimate.
My speciality.
Time for refelction.
Get up off that hiney and go make lemonade.
My M.O.
and sit to soak in all that I'm learning.
If you want to know something, just "google" it.
Or better yet, go sit in a big library.
We have NO MORE excuses.
Right now I'm peaking at gas mileage understanding.
Hence: http://www.wikihow.com/Increase-Fuel-Mileage-on-a-Car
I just want you to know I think of you everyday.
I just want you to know that your life is wide open and your opportunities limitless.
I just want you to feel as I do when the rain comes to wash away drought and sadness.
I'm just standing right next to you.
When our energies intertwine we lift each other off the ground.
You help me to see peripheral, above and below.
I miss you all day long, but I feel just as strong with or without you.
There's something about sharing ourselves the way we do.
But right now I know what I can give to you.
And you to me.
It just wasn't meant to be.
Feeling larger than ever, and every moment I see in technicolor.
With a glimmer of hope in space I shape my life.
Lifting up my head from the snug warmth of my bedroom I see bright lights.
This path stretched out before me.
Just dying for me to reach out.
How do you walk away from your dreams?
Are you insane? Are you repressed?
No way. I just need time to think--rationally.
Sometimes I get ahead of me. Seeing what some never see.
The blind I could never be. But frankly, that's just what God
has given me. An open road, someone's hand, undying devotion.
Cause I have learned that all I give is all I get.
So now I'm giving life all I have.
And to Jah the glory.
This feeling couldn't be more genuine, unless I packed my bags
and left at this very moment.
Live and don't forget to be grateful for what you're given.
Stop wasting time thinking of the mistakes you'll make.
I can't seem to stop writing poetically.
You don't need to read my life.
It's not so personal, but it is intimate.
My speciality.
Time for refelction.
Get up off that hiney and go make lemonade.
My M.O.
24.3.10
Instant as the -cheap- rice you can nuke in the microwave.
Blogger is beginning to act strange. Hope that will end soon. This has kind of been my small venting box for some time now thanks to S.M.M. Not quite ready to let go yet. Just when life is really revealing itself to me. Naked. And blogger just is having fits.
As the picture strays in and out of focus, this energy shifts elsewhere.
You are no longer on the list of things to do.
And it hurts.
Today I can see all of my strengths and flaws.
Before me lie options and realities.
Today I can't pretend or hide beneath the covers.
But I don't want to.
Change so magnetic I miss staying the same today.
The grass seems greener.
Some relish in deceit; the lie crumples over like
a withered piece of paper. Practically ash.
I need more sustenance than that girl.
She doesn't need more than attention, monetary goods,
a little whiskey, and good time.
Inadequacy, intolerable. I am moving to another level of cognition.
Insurmountable growth spurt. Maybe I subconsciously admit, and consciously ignore my need for constant growth and change. Transformation.
Artists need stimulation. We are all creators of our
own reality. We are all destined to move forward.
What restrains and binds us is only our mental aptitude for
revolutionizing ourselves.
I digress.
(Eye) see so much. Remember when we only
wanted to make our parents happy? When it was good
enough to eat a lollipop or go swimming on a hot day?
Remember when I still lived in a dimension where the
possibilities didn't seem so vast or irrevocable?
Not right now. Not these days.
Forget about xo's and hop scotch.
Right now, understanding is my validation. Discretion.
Discernment. Humility. Quiet meditation. [Open your (I)s,
before you go blind.]
"Believe none of what you hear, and half of what you see."
As the picture strays in and out of focus, this energy shifts elsewhere.
You are no longer on the list of things to do.
And it hurts.
Today I can see all of my strengths and flaws.
Before me lie options and realities.
Today I can't pretend or hide beneath the covers.
But I don't want to.
Change so magnetic I miss staying the same today.
The grass seems greener.
Some relish in deceit; the lie crumples over like
a withered piece of paper. Practically ash.
I need more sustenance than that girl.
She doesn't need more than attention, monetary goods,
a little whiskey, and good time.
Inadequacy, intolerable. I am moving to another level of cognition.
Insurmountable growth spurt. Maybe I subconsciously admit, and consciously ignore my need for constant growth and change. Transformation.
Artists need stimulation. We are all creators of our
own reality. We are all destined to move forward.
What restrains and binds us is only our mental aptitude for
revolutionizing ourselves.
I digress.
(Eye) see so much. Remember when we only
wanted to make our parents happy? When it was good
enough to eat a lollipop or go swimming on a hot day?
Remember when I still lived in a dimension where the
possibilities didn't seem so vast or irrevocable?
Not right now. Not these days.
Forget about xo's and hop scotch.
Right now, understanding is my validation. Discretion.
Discernment. Humility. Quiet meditation. [Open your (I)s,
before you go blind.]
"Believe none of what you hear, and half of what you see."
20.3.10
So Long. I'll be seeing you.
I'm not posting. Just letting go of something and someone at the same time. John Mayer is a pop icon, however, I always find comfort in something about his music.
About to do some homework. Wash some clothes. Think about cardomom pecan banana bread. It's okay to not always know.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://www.cardamomcreations.com/cardamom.htm
What Is Cardamom?
Cardamom is often referred to as the Queen of Spices. It’s the third most expensive spice in the world and also one of the oldest. As early as the 4th century BC, Cardamom was used in India as a medicinal herb to strengthen the heart and lungs, relieve pain, gas and sharpen the mind.
A relative to the ginger family, it is highly aromatic with a complex flavor profile that is hard to put into words - it defies the boundaries of normal sensory comparisons. It is compellingly strong, yet delicate; sweet, yet powerful; with an almost eucalyptus freshness.
Cardamom Pods
Open a jar of cardamom and the smell is unmistakable, unstoppable – sweet, exotic and dreamy. It is one of the most evocative and intoxicating smelling spices reminiscence of a wonderfully perfumed floral bouquet all wrapped up inside a single pod with a smell and taste quite unlike any other.
The Greeks and Romans imported it as a digestive aid. It has been said that Cleopatra found the scent of Cardamom so enticing that she would burn the crushed pods, instead of incense, before the arrival of Marc Anthony!
Cardamom's ability to enhance so many types of food is why it is combined with a wide range of other ingredients.
In Sweden, it has become a more popular spice than cinnamon. It is used in Danish pastries, Saudi Arabian coffee, North African cooking, Indian Chai tea and cooking, plus in spice blends such as Garam Masala, Curry powder, and Berbere.
It is native to the East originating in the forests of the Ghars in Southern India where it grows wildly. Today it also grows in Sri Lanka, Guatemala and Tanzania.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
11:15 Late night Edits.
Did all my online coursework for the next ten days. Yes.
Going to wash clothes. Find some dinner. Sing John Mayer. Scribble.
Pray hard. Iron a white button up. Think of him. Think of myself. Think of everything that has nothing to do with my emotions. Read. Dream. Let go a little more. Be patient with myself. Be patient. Be humble. Be cool.<3 It's all love. All sacrifice. All the time.
-L.K.
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