Penetrating Silence

This is the loudest quiet We have endured.
I grab hold of myself, as I'm falling again.
Prayer is the only thing the sustains me.
I find love in all the right places.
My coeur, my core, my second self is just on the other side
of this invisible wall. I want to let you in.
I want...to pretend that you don't matter. It never works.
I clasp my hands bowing in my room, realizing the direction life is taking me.
Can you come with me? We seem to be going the same way...
But are we on the same plane?
The last time I held you, I thought that I'd had my fill.
But now I know that's pretty much impossible.
Maybe I'm just lonely.
But the funny part is I want nothing else.



She doesn't even miss me.
We are parting, and I am okay with that.
We are not inseparable, but I was once her rock,
and she was my soft place to fall.
But I am still strong. Holding on to what seems to
be thin air, so thin that if I do not escape,
I will as many others die from lack of oxygen.
Freedom is the air is my lungs.
Carbon dioxide is natural until dominant.
She is the overbearing weight in the pit of my stomach.
I grab at my elastic skin tightly.
Hoping to rip out the part where I swallowed her whole.
She was my sister I never had.
Yet I love her still.
I must go.



Is there any room for me here?
I know there's just one seat left in the back of
this bus. I sat quietly next to you.
Watching your almond eyes flicker with the patches of sunlight
peering in from just beyond the reinforced glass windows.
I can't help myself. It's obvious how necessary you are to me.
I laugh at myself. "I'm doing it again." I chuckle. I guffaw.
I erupt. You notice me. I want to disappear now.
Just relive the moment where our eyes locked in that brief
exchange of fates. I cling to hope. You flee from love. Including
mines. Am I not worth your time?
You return to the same seat near the reinforced windows next to me the next day.
You smile at me. I melt.