The list

(An artsy shot in Tuscania on a rainy night.)

You know. That incomprehensible list of things you want to do over the course of your short existence? The list of goals piles higher and higher. Stacks upon gargantuan stacks of interests, releases, people to meet, limitations to shatter...
I feel like I'm flying and falling all at once, on some days. The mind has the propensity to shoot off in one million directions, but the course society has set (particularly American society) has reigned me in, on many occasion. I think I'm supposed to make a decision, thrust down that rabbit hole, and see if I come out, still able to take on that next hole. I have the tendency to avoid the definitive, but I'm so pratical that everything else is a joke to me. Thus far, life has been pretty funny, as I have dipped and dodged its misfortunes. I like to think prayer has played a major role, but part of it is I have yet to grow up.
So grow up. By the end of this year I will have hit twenty. Or twenty will hit me, I suppose whichever one comes first. I'm hoping I'll knock it pretty hard though.
Definition:
I must define myself, or society will define me.
Fantasy reality:
I want to excel and first tackle the environmental. If I believe I'm living
in the generation of the eleventh hour, nothing is more important than getting my ducks in row, so too speak. Environmental equals projects.
True Reality:
I need Jehovah more than ever. Focusing on the spiritual will help me. I must distance myself from things and people that distract me from my goal. If you are not aware, all I need is to reach spiritual clarification. My relationship with my spirit and the Almighty. If all else fails in this life, I know that is the most prominent actuality that we will all eventually face. In this world we can be distracted by an infinite number of things. But, there is one way which will save you from all the heartache, dysfunction and corruption you will be faced with. The way is found in spiritual clarification. You can study everything else, and without this your soul is as good as dead.

I don't like to tell people that. "It's preachy!" They say. Or, "You're always looking at the negatives!" Question, if you live in a society that perpetuates (and I mean lives, breathes, seeps out destruction [i.e. egotism, murder, starvation, avarice, political warfare, STDs, divorce, oversexualizing children to the point of teenage pregnancy and rape and sexual predators, druglords, crime, and poor health] wouldn't you want to disassociate yourself with that as much as possible?

It's hard to talk about, but with very few. Rarely do I. But every time I find myself subduing to my own destruction I realize the discomfort my spirit feels. It's not fun to share your perspective with others only to have them attack you savagely. We have been programmed to believe that seeking spiritual depth is not as important as the car we drive, the partner we choose, the amount of money we stash, and we are foolish. These distractions--It's like giving candy to a child. They become like puddy in your hands.

Back to the matrix. Guess I will sit down and do a paper on the economic dysfunctionality of our core government and law enforced America. "Money makes the world go round." Money indeed does grow on trees.