Rant of Vraiment

In brief, my eyes are tired so I am typing without glasses. The blurry keys are just memorization these days.


Well, impression of living jumps from just surface superficial to spiritual and the great purpose of living. why are we here? why are you here? what do you hope to gain from it all? how will you spend your time? how are you spending it? are you wasting it? as much as I miss you, I reuse to waste the hours on hookah bars, endless club nights and sexually pervading thoughts. I want to attain my nirvana. In union with Jehovah I can actualize whatever I want. I can extend myself to others. I am not selfish nor concerned about my appearance, although I love taking care of my body, I love taking care of everyone. The first step to aiding others is knowing how to aid yourself. That's why we are so lost as a people today I remember I used to fervently pray for wisdom,. I know I'm kind of spacey, but when I think my way through, all the answers become clear with time. Patient. Calm. Relax. Refresh. I love the way we look into each other's eyes are hardly can stand to look away. Pure genuine love. Unabashed. Neverending. I want to hold you at least for the second. This second will last me into next year. I love you. You;ll never have to worry. I will continue to be this way...

Pray. Change. Transform. Commit. Wake up.

:) Old vid, but still empowering. Still love you P.O.D.

Inquiry.

Nothing New Under the Sun. ||Pause, Then Play |>

Alora (So),
I miss speaking un autre langue (other languages).


Today was my first official bike trail, and Wednesday will be my second. 15 miles+. I don't know how ready I was, but I made it through, mini hills and all. There's something crazy that happens when I seek refuge in prayer and loving kindness in action. All unfolds well.

Advice of the day:
Just continue to be steadfast and patient. All of your answers will be revealed, if you only continue to seek. Don't be afraid to pray, or search for what calls your spirit. Don't follow your heart, it can be treacherous and lead you astray. Think before you act. Visualize your needs, and then write them down, then tell other people. It's far more likely to come true. Read about everything you're interested in, and go after it. There's a much higher likelihood you'll get it, and take your time. Rome wasn't built in a day, and it didn't fall in one either. Meditate on beneficial words. You'll gain more understanding.

Film Critique of Summer:

The Karate Kid--Made me cry. I hate seeing small children get whooped. I mean whooped. I wouldn't take my child to see that (violence, language, mild sexual activity). That lil' boy was gettin' quite grown. For me, however I'm glad I did peep it (to support Will Smith duh), although it was of minimal benefit to my personal development. I like to watch movies I can really learn from. Maybe you'll enjoy it more. ***

The time has come my little friends, to talk of other things!

1 1/2 pounds fresh ground turkey
1 small dice sweet onion
2 teaspoons chopped fresh oregano leaves
2 teaspoons chopped fresh basil leaves
2 to 3 cloves minced garlic
Sea salt
Freshly ground black pepper
3 large eggs
1 3/4 cups bread crumbs
1 cup heavy cream
1/2 cup olive oil
1 tablespoon butter
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, for dusting the meat balls before browning

Part of tonight's dinner. I changing this dish a bit. Not frying the meatballs and no breadcumbs. I think I'll call it naked meat...balls? XD

Quicknote:
I really can't wait to be in the truth. I have so much love, and for the first time, I actually understand how to evenly distribute it. For lessons on how to give love, without over doing it, feel free to call L.K. toll free.

In other news, I'm too busy to rant, so...

Buonanotte. Ciao. Sayonara. Sleepytime. Dinner for me. :)

Reflections of June

I sit in my quaint bedroom, fuzzy locks sprawled all over my head, Felix in front of me staring out at this golden afternoon, licking himself, I look back at the past. Not for answers. Just understanding. How do we get so caught up as individuals in the little things? You know how many of us fail to see the bigger picture beyond just what benefits us? For some it's hard to think that we are inadequate and that we must constantly seek improvement, and for others, we strive after the wind, for things we just can't touch. Today, balance is difficult in a world with limitation and structure, without silicone and technology. Quiet and reading and fresh air is a rare appreciation, and religious discovery is just north of a flicker; on average.
Au contraire, I find great pleasure in spiritual understanding, and often distance myself from material matters. I don't want to move in circles, and I know my presence is greater than the clothes I wear, how great I can do a math problem, how illustrious my piano playing is, how mind blowing my sex is, and how many people I can please. Is it unfathomable to consider that the things we can't hold in our hand could be of any real value these days? How about the love you feel for someone close to you? A lover, a mother/father to his/her child, an animal friend. How about the true happiness we experience when we accomplish something truly important? Our first independent adventure from our parents. Making your own meal. Teaching someone a new word or dance move or anything they don't know. The list goes on. I know we all have our own struggles and stories, but ultimately, we must understand that we are more than the tangible realm of life. Our emotions and needs rise much higher than what the material can bring. The more you seek self understanding, the better off you will be.

Life after death

If I died today, I would not have regrets, only things I wish I would have gotten a chance to do. If I could do it all over, I would have taken more time to admire Jehovah's creation. If I can protect my health mentally, physically, and spiritually, I know I must do so. Life is a precious gift, breathed into us that many of us throw away and abuse, but really it must be cherished, tested, and done in such a way that we can look back and say, "I did that, and I'm happy I did." Moments like now make me reflect, not in a morbid way, but just enough to remind you as well. We are sensitive souls, meant to live forever but restrained to just as long as fate holds out. We hang on a string that thins by the second, and unravels by the hour.

Indistinct lesson number 5. Don't sell yourself short.

Dear Confused Tired and Lonely,

You seem to have a soft shell my friend. I just cracked you right open, three words, and you melted into my heart. Unfortunately, you have given up hope on yourself in many ways, ways in which I fought so hard to hold on to you, but then I remember, I'm not you. Only your friend. I don't think you really want to be mines anymore. It's a cyclical prospect that tells our story. When I met you, you had your crew, and I had mine, now we are as isolated as two islands that have drifted, Pangaea--plate tectonic shift. The noxious fumes have entered into your mist, deteriorating our memories like a plague, an invasive species, I feel wasted, but not bitter. Just feeling my heart hurt is enough. I must continue to tread in the way in which I should walk. You can continue to deviate. I'll pray that you awaken someday. Hope it won't be too late.

P.S. It doesn't matter how pretty you are on the outside if on the inside you are lost and messed up. Don't waste your talent. Clean up, so you can be the person you have always imagined yourself to be. Surely, where you are is not where you want to be.

___

I miss you guys so much, it's funny how we grow up, and how hard it gets to "pencil" one another in. I love you and your face, and your little idiosyncrasies. I'll cradle you in my heart, and as long as you do the same, we will always have a place for each other.

<3L.K.

Nostalgia

I surely should be in bed. Tonight was pretty special.
I am on the brink of a new revelation, and right now I just want to be held close by someone I hold close. A reminiscent smell, taste, or happy feeling. I can pray, and meditate. Sometimes I just want to slow down. Sometimes all I need to do is slow down. Sometimes I don't know how. But I'm pumping the brakes right now...

Universal Understanding.

Don't be afraid of your tears, or joy, or individual perplexities.
For you can harness the power within. Bundles and zillions of miles of energy.
You glow with new ideas, you brilliant bright star. Even when you are lightyears away, I can still see you shining.

:) Dreamy thought, hanging on a cloud.

A thousands kisses goodnight. Goodnight starlight.

What is Civilization?

As many blogs are about the absorbedness we each experience in our everyday, somewhat mundane experiences, I can't imagine writing about me, and purely me anymore. I know people care, but as much as there is to read out there, who has the time?

In the crowd of crowds, in cities around the world people seek evolution in one sense or another. What about us? What do we each seek? What do have to be afraid of in bettering ourselves? What are we waiting for? For if we are not striving to accomplish anything at all, don't we feel we have somewhere lost our purpose? Even a child seeks something to attain, usually an older age where they are permitted to do as they please. What happens when they get there? Many of them wish they were children again. Remember when your friend says, "Remember the days when we used to play freeze tag outside until mom called us in the house when the street lights came on? Those were the days..." Or...something to that effect? We don't know what we really want. Many of us were raised without morals and values, and goals that help to mold and shape us all around. We are devastated when we lose our way. But there is no need to fear. Just remember, when your values are in question, define and cover your mental--physical---and the spiritual aspects of self. You owe it to yourself to find out who you are. Where you stand, and what you mean. Life is not just something to spend sleeping through, miserable, complaining, dreaming without real expectation. We have rights as we are given the ability to take action. FREE WILL. You are given five digits on each hand, an agile, mainly well functioning body, and cerebral cortex, now go forth and use it and prosper.

I wish I could say more, but that's as narrow as broad messages go.

I love you. I adorn your forehead and cheeks with soft kisses.
I hold your hand in mine and squeeze when I know you are sad.
I take that same hand and palm it with mine, comparing lifelines.
We are on two different roads, but O how our paths have crossed.
I could never stop loving you the way I do, because for the first time
I feel real love. Too bad we live in two different worlds.
Excommunicate. Seperate thought and linear function.
I will imagine you are here in this room with me instead
of just inside of our imagination. We only exist in each others memory.
Calling your name with no response is the most painful part.