Fermentation through rant.

Tonight my heart hurt. I love her in ways I didn't think I knew how to. I've turned off the cosmic romance button. In my heart silence reigns supreme. With each thump, the knot constricts and releases. I will suppress my feelings until whenever I know I can back them up with nurturing to help them grow freely. I wanted to just listen to your voice all night long. I love a man's smooth voice, and when they are actually doing what they should be, it sounds that much better.
When I left you, I knew I was doing the right thing, no matter how many times I want to look back, I can only move forward. Forgive me for being a quick mover. I can't stand still, not even for loved ones. I know when I am being urged to go. Sometimes I miss you beside me. Your smell. I type it all time, knowing you will never respond. There is nothing I could have done differently with you.
Inhale. Fall into deep thought. Exhale. Release the pain I've held for so long. Forgive me, I have been self righteous. The more humility, the calmer I am. I have no regrets. I only have questions about this new solitary position. Most of us can't bear to be without someone, even if they are totally wrong for us, we would rather be miserable with them then just wait it out. I just pray all the time. I just move. I just don't wait for you to regain strength. You can't catch me. Weakness is in my flesh (tangibility). Strength is in my spirit (faith).