Rien, rien pour toi.

The slippery silk intertwines around her legs, she slides out of focus,
just south of the limelight.
Finding a pinch of hope caught between dust and dreams,
There is a moment of deep nostalgia.
Why does it feel like it's happening right now to me?
This isn't the first time I just realized
you wanted to see me again.
I like the safety of dreaming,
Not so much being the center of your attention.
Forget it. Forget this. Forget that we could be...anything.
For now.
I'm running down a hall of tests and temptations, may as well be standing still.
I feel like none of it matters.
But as usual, you make me smile, at least inside.
There is a quiet agreement.
We both know.
We both want.
We both see beyond these boundaries.

I still have nothing to share with the people here, and I guess that's okay.
It may not be my time to.

Ich liebe Dich. That will never change.

I will never get tired of saxophones, and string instruments, and women whose voices sound arid and artsy. I prefer listening to music that is not degrading and pointless. Only uplifting, no profanity. I will travel the many seas, with you in my heart. We can clasp hands, and play in the surf when I get back home. I'll think of your smile, and your peaceful words. When you go to sleep, imagine me there saying goodnight and tucking you in. I'll be here in the morning when you wake.




http://29.media.tumblr.com/HqaiGeBjOpx0tzxjuRzaybDeo1_500.jpg --optimizing loc idea

The socialite without virtual stimULATION.

http://www.beliefnet.com/Entertainment/Books/2002/07/Spiritual-But-Not-Religious.aspx?p=2

This link was posted on facebook by one of my old colleagues/friends.
It is slightly beneficial and interesting in the sense of why the phrase, "spiritual, but not religious," exists. My immediate main qualms with that statement are, it's a cop out phrase, in-distinctive, and honestly sends your spirituality into a toss up. Imagine if your physical life was just a toss up. Most of us want money right? So we can eat, clothe, and entertain ourselves, right? So in life we strategically seek to work at places that make us happy and provide us with that tangible sustenance. Some of us want more than others, so some of us work harder. Spiritually, we become lost if we do not seek an intentional direction (wealth of spiritual knowledge). Imagine how little we store "spiritually" if we do not seek this intangible form of food and clothing. Spiritually, many of us starve, and seek a less organized or unfamiliar religious perspective in life. The question is, are you doing yourself a favor, or harming yourself by ignoring/confusing your spirit? You need spiritual sustenance, and if you don't get it, you will attempt to fill the void with materialistic things. People, sex, items, activities, and at the end of it all, you will feel this hole. It may become less and less evident to you, until your life takes a turn for the worse, that is, if you ever notice this turn. Part of that turn is, one day, we will all die. It is the price of sin. (Rom 6:23--"23 For the wages sin pays is death, but the gift God gives is everlasting life..." )The real question is, do you care about a better life than the one we live in? Do you think it is possible to have a better life? One even more amazing than the rich and famous? Do you care about how spiritually connected we all are, and could potentially be, if we weren't all so distant, hiding from our truths, and confused? Do you see the false religions, and does that make you feel like religion is a waste of time? If your answer is yes (which in many cases I imagine it is) I suggest you fervently, adamantly pray for clarity. Earnestly seeking truth ( and God), instead of blindly running through life, hoping to find the real life. The life your heart runs to, but constantly can't seem to catch. You want peace, and unfortunately, only an organized search for truth (perhaps a more religious one), will answer your urgent internal question. If that doesn't make sense, what I found was, search for God, and what He wants, not religion. The right religious practice will find you.

Planet Goucher is Eating up my Blogger time.

But I still sneak on somehow, at the very least to take skips down memory lane.
So it looks like I'm going to have to buy Esthero's music. This chick is so crafty I can't find anywhere to download her stuff, and she has quite a lengthy portfolio of real music, an dsoul in her sound. I'm writing a paper for my English class about my most memorable writing experience. The question is, do i have one? I don't think so. It's like asking me what is my favorite color. Variety is the zing, and spice, and what makes life interesting. As you transform, so should your favorites, and for me that happens to be, every stinkin day just about. I mean, I like Esthero, but is she the only artist I listen to? N-O. I would hate her sound if it wasn't so dang refreshing to my ears. :) Off to work. I've been procrastinating...

Elif Shafak :)

I don't especially agree with her end quote, or her love of Sufism, but I think she makes some great points, and encourages one to expand and widen out of their norms. This is what keeps up innovative, free, and conscious.

Humility.

Calming my breathing. Gathering myself. Gathering my motives. Quiet> Listening for guidance.

James 4:8-10, 8 Draw close to God, and he will draw close to YOU. Cleanse YOUR hands, YOU sinners, and purify YOUR hearts, YOU indecisive ones. 9 Give way to misery and mourn and weep. Let YOUR laughter be turned into mourning, and [YOUR] joy into dejection. 10 Humble yourselves in the eyes of Jehovah, and he will exalt YOU

Sometimes, it hurts to admit you are striving after the wind, because it seems like so many can do it so well. But you are way too aware to keep chasing after nothing. I feel so humbled, so aware, and so ready for a change. Smarter thinking, smarter dealings. They deserve more. Jah knows. I have to ask forgiveness this time, I cannot continue to pressure this vein until it bursts, I'd rather slow my steps, and reconfigure my goal.