Google has its way with me.

So, I'm too hot to post right now. Seriously need to put a cheesecloth over my AC. These stink bugs are not going to be flying in my room, chilling on my arm while I'm asleep. I don't care how much I love nature. I don't like critters in my bed with me.

*Sigh*

Writing is a form of raw self expression. I can be as creative as I want, without worrying about purchasing paint, or finding enough time to delve deep into my subconscious thoughts. Writing has an instant gratification of sorts. If I press on the keys, words can be created, manipulated, and stimulate me.

Lexicon? Not quite. Just in love with creating. And when time does not allow much else, I will not be stifled. I temper my speech. I temper my thoughts. But I refuse to silence my ideas--at least for now. It's not like I spend every waking moment sharing with you. I just need to...vent without response sometimes. I need to be able to read this later, and remember where I was when I wrote it.

Reggae is fluid in the background. My body is hot. I spent 3 hours in the kitchen. A shower is in order. Cooking is a form of creation, but cooking costs. And sometimes that alone is a turn off.

Can you believe I feel like I'm 20? I also feel like I'm definitely not a kid anymore. I feel responsibilities. I feel the need to get to the point. I feel the need to share my experiences, and yet with no one in particular at this time. I'm glad I'm not the needy type, because I sure would be frustrated.

But you know what is frustrating? When you attempt to share your perspective with someone and you feel like it's all you, and none of them. Like they are not sharing one ounce of themselves. It's a 90/10 relationship. And I don't do well in them.

Anyway, I told you I was hot.

Can't wait for the cheesecloth, and the curtains, and to paint this second window.
Art does put the soul in another place. In that place I feel more complete.
I pray for balance. Color. Sound. Dimension. Depth perception. Life. Thought. Cleansing. Soothing. Stimulation. Physical. Spiritual. Mental. Refining.
----

EDITS: Google has been giving me a hard time logging in.

When I think about the future, it is not clear. I don't see anyone in particular in it. I don't see myself in any particular location, but I know I want to go away from here. I don't even see myself speaking English as opposed to something else. I just know it's time to move. It's time my darling. Stand up and work for what you want. Determined to make something of this life of mine. Please let me grow the right way. It gets confusing--hearing too many voices. But mines says, slow down. Think clearly. Don't rush to your grave. Smell the sweet scents that Jah brings your way. Breathe deeply. Say what you mean. Spend your time doing things that you couldn't imagine life without. Remember discipline. Life without it is nothing but a fool's paradise. Wasting away is sure to follow.
I think I'm too young to pick just one thing, but I sure know goals are important, or nothing is accomplished. Ah, it's only the way life is.

(I never ever give my heart away. I never ever want to waste away. I want to love, but until the time is right--when I feel safe I'll always be this way.)