Rewind. Reflect. Re-evaluate.

[12:50 AM edits]
-->"Bulldoze the life out of me."
Download The Moment I Said It by Imogen Heap.

You won't regret it.
That's my life. In a nut shell.
WTF is my problem?
I just want nothing.
I ask for solace and simplicity.
Where did I go wrong?
...*sigh*...
"I promise it'll all seem better somehow in time."
I'm listening to it as I type this.

He came tonight...and I want to cry. But...
How?
Stop being sorry for yourself. I'm not.
Do your homework.
Lol. "I'm losing you. Trust me on this one."
-------
Orignal Entry begins here.

Questions race through my thoughts...
About life.
About values.
About what's really essential to our happiness.
Society needs boundaries.
I need freedom.
Watching Jumper reminded me the limits to freedom.
If I could jump would I be in school?
Would I have my friends?
would I hide it?

Is life really just one big question mark?
Are my relationships (God, friends & fam, classmates, authority figures) healthy?
How do we reach euphoria?
How do we humble ourselves?
How do we recognize faults?
How biased am I?

Do I want to be with these people? REALLY?
Are you denying the truth? Are you weak?
Clarity. I'm not emotional.
I'm distantly dreaming. Reaching.
It feels like The Stranger and his need for existentialism...
Don't get me wrong I believe in karma and God and fate.

Just floating on this cloud...feeling people drift in and out of my life.
I desire solidity. I want people who will really be there.
But what....if....they....get hurt? die? move away?

Wake up to reality Lystra.
The war is not over.
I'm battling within myself.
Seeking solace and answers.
I don't even fucking trust writing all my truths on the godforsaken website.

Google.
lmfao.