Sometimes I look for encouraging words in the wrong places, the people I grew accustomed to I couldn't face the reality that they were not my keeper, Jehovah alone has been and will continually be my keeper. I understand that now. I now definitely appreciate the saying, "Happiness exists only when shared." I should strive to create more, as it brings the greatest peace my mind has ever known, and is a gift that I want to share with others. I will push forward to finish this degree in Environmental Studies, but continue to spread the word of Jah. I will travel to where I am needed. I aspire to get into Culinary because I know it is one of the greatest passions of my life. I realize now that I have no ties, but my job is to move like the river. Constantly flowing. I can pervade through almost any substance. I can be contained, but often my emotions spill over. I am fluid, and rushing. My form can change, and is essential. H20 provides life for all. A necessary bond. The lifeblood of the earth. I accept my nurturing path in this world. Some of us are meant to be rocks, some air, some are meant to be fire, and some are meant to be water. Or maybe I am more like fire. I haven't fully attributed an element to my person, but I assure you it will have nothing to do with my zodiac sign.
Today I woke up. For the past little while now, I'd been feeling dead, but as a dear friend said to me recently, sometimes we have to hit rock bottom to freak out enough to get us moving again. I have realized now I cannot rely on friends for this support, because I want more than they can be for me. For now, my strength truly does lie in prayer and refuge in my application of new found morals. It's...strange to say most things that at one time I thought were acceptable (profuse drunkeness, swearing, sex, deceit, anger, violence) have fallen off of my to do at all list. I am finding my peace, and I can't wait to share it.
I will pray to push in these areas, maybe even make some more videos. :) I need need need a camera. A a new dresser. PLEASE. Can't wait til I attain basic goals. I'm over myself. Lol. I'm over him. I'm over her. I'm over this system. I'm finding peace at last!
P.S. Shayla, I really like this girl's hair progress from perm to natural, you may find it useful as well. http://feliciaunique.blogspot.com/2010/08/90-days-hair-challenge-low-manipulation.html
2 comments:
i love'n the new layout
Dang, he said exactly what I was going to say 1st. Blah... *ignoring his comment* Lys, your new layout... I can dig it 8).lol
I personally enjoyed the last segment of this entry, and as usual I hope that you do find the strength, get your essentials and down the line share all that *Jehova* has blessed you with. I'm happy for you and hope to hear from you soon.
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